The Unexpected

After I held Maverick, Jason and the baby began to move to a regular hospital room.  But by 10 o'clock they told Jason he needed to come back to the recovery room because I was having some complications.  Throughout the entire ordeal that day I was aware of what was happening to me.  I was conscious as I lay there with my uterus filling up with blood.  The problem was that it was not contracting down to the post-delivery size that it should.  Instead it was filling up with clots.  I learned later that they called my doctor to come back.  He ran to my recovery room and cancelled the rest of his patients for the day.  I was hemorrhaging.  Nurses had tried to push on my already sore abdomen to get the clots out.  My uterus would not go down like it should as long as it was so full of blood.  They pushed and pushed on me so many times that I lost count.  A very concerned Dr. Dean came in and ordered them to give me some shots of a certain medicine that would hopefully stop the bleeding.  Every time they would push on my abdomen I would cringe with pain internally and feel lots of blood leave my body.  Later I found out that I lost three and a half liters of blood between the C-section and the hemorrhaging.

I could see the concern on the nurses' and doctor's faces.  I knew it was bad, but the bleeding wasn't the end of my problems.  Because of my low blood volume, my mitral valve got stuck.  I had come through a mitral valve repair at age 23;  I was now 35.  I remember more doctors coming into my room and by this time it was getting crowded as I looked around.  I even asked them if everyone in the room was necessary.  The doctor assured me that everyone was working to help me and that all had an important job.  Through a lot of this distress I just lay there and closed my eyes.  The concerned looks on the doctors' faces scared me.  By this time my heart rate was 165; it would stay extremely fast for about 3 hours.  My blood pressure dropped to 57 over 35.  When I tried to raise up on my bed I would gasp for air.  I couldn't breathe and this really freaked me out.  They made me lie flat and put an oxygen mask over my mouth.  There was another doctor putting more IV's in my other arm.  I ended up with three of them.  I heard the doctor ask what my blood type was.  When they told him B - he said that it would take 30 minutes to get that type.  They ran to get type O and quickly began giving me units of blood.  I would end up taking 7 units in all in addition to frozen plasma and platelets.  I found out later that I had lost 70% of my blood volume.  

I remember someone asking me if I was afraid to die.  I told them, "No, but I'm scared of having to go through surgery again."  I didn't realize how close I was to an emergency hysterectomy, but if I had not stopped bleeding they would have had to put me back in the OR to take out my uterus.  That would have been a very risky surgery under my circumstances.  

At one time I looked to my left and saw Jason standing in the back of the room.  He was letting all of the medical professionals do their jobs, and he just looked so helpless.  Through it all he remained calm.  It made me feel good to see him there.  Just knowing he was in the room with me made me feel better.  I asked the doctor several times if I was going to be alright.  I just wanted to be assured that everything was ok.  I heard him say that I needed to go to ICU so that they could watch me.  ICU?  That can't be right.  I'm supposed to be going to a room where my baby is.  That's what I thought.  But sure I ended in ICU by lunch time and remember begging the nurses and my mom to get me some ice.  My mouth was so dry. My mom fed me ice and sat by my side for the longest.  It was so good to have her there with me.

I was hooked up to units of blood for a long while, and they were giving me more shots (I think for my heart rate). Even though I was medicated I remember being in so much pain.  My abdomen hurt so badly I could barely move.  I just lay there looking at the monitor and hoping my blood pressure/heart rate would do what they needed to do.  

I did rest some, but I remember being in the ICU room with the curtain closed.  It was just me and the Lord.  A nurse named Babette helped me, and I really liked her.  It seemed like things were settling down for now, but I didn't like being back in ICU without a family member.  They could only come back for short moments.  At one time my best friend's husband, Jason B., slipped back to check on me.  He was a nurse at the hospital.  It was so good to see a familiar face.

It seems weird to me now thinking back but I didn't ask to hold my baby again.  All I could do was just lay there.  I dreaded the times the nurses would have to come in and push on my sore abdomen.  They had to make sure my uterus was shrinking down and I wasn't bleeding too bad.  The pain was horrific when they tried to turn me on my side.  I was in no condition to hold my newborn baby, and I didn't even have the frame of mind to even ask for him.  It did make me sad deep down though thinking about how all of my family and Jason's family were there seeing our baby and I was missing it all.  I couldn't even see Rocco when he came to visit.  

Thankfully they brought Maverick back to me later.  Jason came in with him in one of those closed off boxes just to protect him from getting any germs or sickness.  I could not hold him, but as least I could see him.  What a precious sight!

 Thankfully the pulmonary and cardiac doctors were pleased with how I had pulled through.  I give God all the glory for how I survived on the day I delivered.  The second day in ICU would thankfully be my last, but little did I know I was about to face another complication.  

After the nurses bathed me off, they had me sit up.  My head pounded with this awful pain like I had never felt before.  I quickly moved to a chair and reclined.  At least I was out of the bed.  The lactation consultant came in later and helped me pump some colostrum.  They took a small syringe of it to Maverick.  This gave me a little hope that maybe I would be able to breast feed him.  I figured I would not be able to because of my ICU stay and the time I had been away from him.  Throughout the entire day in ICU though I had to lay reclined.  If I ever sat up my head pounded.  They could not even wheel me into my hospital room that day for the headache I had.  They rolled me in a reclined chair.  An anesthesiologist confirmed that my headache was due to the spinal that I had during my C-section.  A small section in my lower spine had been punctured, and blood was draining out of it.  Any time I stood or sat up it caused me to have a tremendous headache.  They said they were even worse than migraines.  Because of my blood loss, my platelet count was very low.  This prevented me from having a "quick fix" called a blood patch for the headache.  They would normally have injected some of my own blood into my spine to sort of plug that leaking hole.  The doctor said that it was just too risky with my current blood condition at the time.  Perhaps I could have the procedure done the next day or two.  

In the end the headache caused me tremendous pain and proved to be a major inconvenience.  I could not sit up to nurse Maverick or eat.  Jason or my mom helped to feed me, and I nursed lying back in the bed.  Several anesthesiologists tried to help me. They so wanted to give me the blood patch.  My platelet count got much better, but when they did a clotting test they saw that it took a tiny prick on my arm 8 minutes to clot when it should have only taken 3 to 5 minutes.  If the blood patch went wrong I could bleed really bad and possibly end up paralyzed.  The risk was too great.  I would have to wait for the headache to go away naturally as the spinal hole closed up on its own. This could take a week or two. 

They said caffeine would help stop the headache.  Jason fed me chocolates and I even drank a Coke.  I haven't drunk caffeinated sodas in over 10 years.  They make me sick and dizzy.  Needless to say that Coke gave me a headache in the front of my head and did nothing to take away my spinal headache I already had.  

When they took my catheter out, I had to get up to go to the bathroom.  I would have to walk leaning over or my head felt like it was going to explode.  Once  I got back in the bed I would cry in pain from the headache.  It would take me about 30 minutes to recover just from going to the bathroom in my own hospital room.  

I never walked the halls during my recovery.  I couldn't.  I couldn't even sit up.  Finally on Saturday (I had been in the hospital since Monday), God touched my head.  The pain had lessened tremendously and I was able to get a shower.  I sat up in a chair.  We were going home!  Rocco was so ready to take his little brother home.  Actually he wanted to take him home on the Monday he was born.  

It had been a long trying week.  At times I felt like I was never going to get better.  My nerves got really bad and I panicked about the middle of the week.  I cried and cried.  The nurse had to give me some medicine to relax me.  I felt bad because I had not changed one single diaper for Maverick.  Jason did a great job tending to him all week.  The baby was fed Similac because I was just not up to nursing even though I had tried several times.  I could barely hold him for the headache that caused me to be bed ridden.

Although I had some complications, I am so grateful that God touched my body and allowed me to get better.  He spared my life so that I could raise my boys.  And he had given me the most beautiful, healthy newborn baby.  Maverick was ready/dismissed to go home before I was.  He had no problems at all.  He was one big baby!

On Saturday night at about 8pm, we left the hospital.  Carolyn helped us take our things to the car.  She had been such a help the entire week.  She helped us by taking care of Rocco and seeing that he got to/from school and also visited us each afternoon.  His birthday was on Thursday of that week when we were still in the hospital.  She made sure he had a school birthday party with refreshments.  She's such a jewel!

 The four of us (Jason, me, Rocco, and Maverick) headed home as a new family of four.  We were so thankful to be going home!  

Even Maverick seemed to have a smile about leaving the hospital.  

The one thing that really stays in my mind about the hospital experience was how loving and caring Jason was toward me.  He was there by my side all week.  Not only was he there for me, but he tended to our newborn baby and made Rocco feel loved, too.

 He kept most visitors at bay so that I could rest.  He was being everything to everyone, and I know it had to tire him out.   He went home one night to get some rest and my mom stayed with me.  I guess I felt more loved by him that week than ever before.  I saw how much he loved me by how he gently cared for me- feeding me, bathing me, helping me walk to the bathroom, getting anything I needed, asking how I was doing, holding me hand when I was scared.  When that week was over I was exhausted, but I did not doubt one bit how much Jason cared for me.  And I did not doubt one bit that it was God who had brought us through one tough, yet miraculous week.