Easter 2012

Happy Easter!  Jesus Christ is risen!  We have hope beyond this life.  We can have eternal life through God's precious Son.  I love Easter and what it means to me as a born again Christian.  

Since little man is still not supposed to be in large crowds just yet, we did not make it to church today.  We did manage to get dressed up in our best for a few pictures.  This was Maverick's first Easter.  Here are my two boys in front of our azaleas in the flower bed.  Notice how Rocco's hand is on his little brother's head.  He rubs his head a lot like that and kisses on it, too.  I think that is so sweet!

 I don't think he was crying here...maybe yawning.  I didn't get many pictures of him in this outfit because he got it dirty with a diaper mess up.  I believe this was the first time I ever put shoes on him.  Check out Rocco  chewing on his gum.  This is so him.

 Carolyn took this picture of us.  Jason was still at church.  Thank you Jesus for my two boys.  They are both such miracles.

 For lunch we went to Gary and Carolyn's house.  We tried to get a picture of all 4 grandkids.  I love this one because everyone is just kind of doing their own thing.  It shows just how hard it is to get 4 kids to all sit up and smile at the camera at the same time.  Rocco is smiling here but has thumbs down.  That's his sense of humor.  Hey, at least Drew was ready.

I'll Take You For a Ride on My Big Green Tractor

What is my husband doing? 

Yes, he is a little crazy.  He's strapping the car seat inside the tractor.  And there they go...

 Our son is not even two weeks old and he's going on his first tractor ride with his daddy.

I thought this was pretty sweet of Jason to get some father-son time in.  And Maverick loved it!  He fell asleep on the ride.  Rocco is such a mama's boy, and he seldom likes to go outside and work with daddy.  He'd rather be inside playing Mario on the Wii.  .  .  so daddy may have just found his new farm hand.  Looks like the littlest peanut might be the one who likes hanging outside.  For Jason's sake I hope he at least likes to cut the grass.  ;)

First Doctor's Visit

 We came home from the hospital on Saturday, March 31.  On Tuesday, April 3, I was finally able to give Maverick a bath.  At the hospital the nursery took care of that, and when we came home I was still feeling weak.  It was a real treat to finally take care of my baby!  Rocco and I enjoyed it; Maverick screamed.  He's not very fond of being undressed and wet.  He is such a snuggly thing...his daddy spoiled him in the hospital.

Once he was all clean, Carolyn helped me load both of the boys into the car for a doctor's visit.  It was an early appointment so Rocco didn't go to school that morning.  It had only been a week since my C-section, so I couldn't drive.  Carolyn drove my Honda, and Jason met us at the doctor's office.  This was little man's first trip somewhere.

Rocco's check-up came first.  He just turned six.  He measured 3 1/2 feet tall and 33 pounds.  Thankfully all was well, and he didn't need any shots!  The doctor said he won't need any until his is 11.  Great news for our big guy!

Maverick's checkup was next.  He had already gained back to his original birth weight of 9 lbs 6 oz.  He gained an inch in height.  He was now 22 in long.  What a big boy.  All checked out well with him.  We are so blessed to have two healthy boys!  

After the appointments, we went downstairs and ate at Subway.  Then, Carolyn and I took Rocco to school.  When he got there his classmates were coming up to him with excitement. They were so glad to see him.   They just love Rocco.  Who wouldn't?

The Unexpected

After I held Maverick, Jason and the baby began to move to a regular hospital room.  But by 10 o'clock they told Jason he needed to come back to the recovery room because I was having some complications.  Throughout the entire ordeal that day I was aware of what was happening to me.  I was conscious as I lay there with my uterus filling up with blood.  The problem was that it was not contracting down to the post-delivery size that it should.  Instead it was filling up with clots.  I learned later that they called my doctor to come back.  He ran to my recovery room and cancelled the rest of his patients for the day.  I was hemorrhaging.  Nurses had tried to push on my already sore abdomen to get the clots out.  My uterus would not go down like it should as long as it was so full of blood.  They pushed and pushed on me so many times that I lost count.  A very concerned Dr. Dean came in and ordered them to give me some shots of a certain medicine that would hopefully stop the bleeding.  Every time they would push on my abdomen I would cringe with pain internally and feel lots of blood leave my body.  Later I found out that I lost three and a half liters of blood between the C-section and the hemorrhaging.

I could see the concern on the nurses' and doctor's faces.  I knew it was bad, but the bleeding wasn't the end of my problems.  Because of my low blood volume, my mitral valve got stuck.  I had come through a mitral valve repair at age 23;  I was now 35.  I remember more doctors coming into my room and by this time it was getting crowded as I looked around.  I even asked them if everyone in the room was necessary.  The doctor assured me that everyone was working to help me and that all had an important job.  Through a lot of this distress I just lay there and closed my eyes.  The concerned looks on the doctors' faces scared me.  By this time my heart rate was 165; it would stay extremely fast for about 3 hours.  My blood pressure dropped to 57 over 35.  When I tried to raise up on my bed I would gasp for air.  I couldn't breathe and this really freaked me out.  They made me lie flat and put an oxygen mask over my mouth.  There was another doctor putting more IV's in my other arm.  I ended up with three of them.  I heard the doctor ask what my blood type was.  When they told him B - he said that it would take 30 minutes to get that type.  They ran to get type O and quickly began giving me units of blood.  I would end up taking 7 units in all in addition to frozen plasma and platelets.  I found out later that I had lost 70% of my blood volume.  

I remember someone asking me if I was afraid to die.  I told them, "No, but I'm scared of having to go through surgery again."  I didn't realize how close I was to an emergency hysterectomy, but if I had not stopped bleeding they would have had to put me back in the OR to take out my uterus.  That would have been a very risky surgery under my circumstances.  

At one time I looked to my left and saw Jason standing in the back of the room.  He was letting all of the medical professionals do their jobs, and he just looked so helpless.  Through it all he remained calm.  It made me feel good to see him there.  Just knowing he was in the room with me made me feel better.  I asked the doctor several times if I was going to be alright.  I just wanted to be assured that everything was ok.  I heard him say that I needed to go to ICU so that they could watch me.  ICU?  That can't be right.  I'm supposed to be going to a room where my baby is.  That's what I thought.  But sure I ended in ICU by lunch time and remember begging the nurses and my mom to get me some ice.  My mouth was so dry. My mom fed me ice and sat by my side for the longest.  It was so good to have her there with me.

I was hooked up to units of blood for a long while, and they were giving me more shots (I think for my heart rate). Even though I was medicated I remember being in so much pain.  My abdomen hurt so badly I could barely move.  I just lay there looking at the monitor and hoping my blood pressure/heart rate would do what they needed to do.  

I did rest some, but I remember being in the ICU room with the curtain closed.  It was just me and the Lord.  A nurse named Babette helped me, and I really liked her.  It seemed like things were settling down for now, but I didn't like being back in ICU without a family member.  They could only come back for short moments.  At one time my best friend's husband, Jason B., slipped back to check on me.  He was a nurse at the hospital.  It was so good to see a familiar face.

It seems weird to me now thinking back but I didn't ask to hold my baby again.  All I could do was just lay there.  I dreaded the times the nurses would have to come in and push on my sore abdomen.  They had to make sure my uterus was shrinking down and I wasn't bleeding too bad.  The pain was horrific when they tried to turn me on my side.  I was in no condition to hold my newborn baby, and I didn't even have the frame of mind to even ask for him.  It did make me sad deep down though thinking about how all of my family and Jason's family were there seeing our baby and I was missing it all.  I couldn't even see Rocco when he came to visit.  

Thankfully they brought Maverick back to me later.  Jason came in with him in one of those closed off boxes just to protect him from getting any germs or sickness.  I could not hold him, but as least I could see him.  What a precious sight!

 Thankfully the pulmonary and cardiac doctors were pleased with how I had pulled through.  I give God all the glory for how I survived on the day I delivered.  The second day in ICU would thankfully be my last, but little did I know I was about to face another complication.  

After the nurses bathed me off, they had me sit up.  My head pounded with this awful pain like I had never felt before.  I quickly moved to a chair and reclined.  At least I was out of the bed.  The lactation consultant came in later and helped me pump some colostrum.  They took a small syringe of it to Maverick.  This gave me a little hope that maybe I would be able to breast feed him.  I figured I would not be able to because of my ICU stay and the time I had been away from him.  Throughout the entire day in ICU though I had to lay reclined.  If I ever sat up my head pounded.  They could not even wheel me into my hospital room that day for the headache I had.  They rolled me in a reclined chair.  An anesthesiologist confirmed that my headache was due to the spinal that I had during my C-section.  A small section in my lower spine had been punctured, and blood was draining out of it.  Any time I stood or sat up it caused me to have a tremendous headache.  They said they were even worse than migraines.  Because of my blood loss, my platelet count was very low.  This prevented me from having a "quick fix" called a blood patch for the headache.  They would normally have injected some of my own blood into my spine to sort of plug that leaking hole.  The doctor said that it was just too risky with my current blood condition at the time.  Perhaps I could have the procedure done the next day or two.  

In the end the headache caused me tremendous pain and proved to be a major inconvenience.  I could not sit up to nurse Maverick or eat.  Jason or my mom helped to feed me, and I nursed lying back in the bed.  Several anesthesiologists tried to help me. They so wanted to give me the blood patch.  My platelet count got much better, but when they did a clotting test they saw that it took a tiny prick on my arm 8 minutes to clot when it should have only taken 3 to 5 minutes.  If the blood patch went wrong I could bleed really bad and possibly end up paralyzed.  The risk was too great.  I would have to wait for the headache to go away naturally as the spinal hole closed up on its own. This could take a week or two. 

They said caffeine would help stop the headache.  Jason fed me chocolates and I even drank a Coke.  I haven't drunk caffeinated sodas in over 10 years.  They make me sick and dizzy.  Needless to say that Coke gave me a headache in the front of my head and did nothing to take away my spinal headache I already had.  

When they took my catheter out, I had to get up to go to the bathroom.  I would have to walk leaning over or my head felt like it was going to explode.  Once  I got back in the bed I would cry in pain from the headache.  It would take me about 30 minutes to recover just from going to the bathroom in my own hospital room.  

I never walked the halls during my recovery.  I couldn't.  I couldn't even sit up.  Finally on Saturday (I had been in the hospital since Monday), God touched my head.  The pain had lessened tremendously and I was able to get a shower.  I sat up in a chair.  We were going home!  Rocco was so ready to take his little brother home.  Actually he wanted to take him home on the Monday he was born.  

It had been a long trying week.  At times I felt like I was never going to get better.  My nerves got really bad and I panicked about the middle of the week.  I cried and cried.  The nurse had to give me some medicine to relax me.  I felt bad because I had not changed one single diaper for Maverick.  Jason did a great job tending to him all week.  The baby was fed Similac because I was just not up to nursing even though I had tried several times.  I could barely hold him for the headache that caused me to be bed ridden.

Although I had some complications, I am so grateful that God touched my body and allowed me to get better.  He spared my life so that I could raise my boys.  And he had given me the most beautiful, healthy newborn baby.  Maverick was ready/dismissed to go home before I was.  He had no problems at all.  He was one big baby!

On Saturday night at about 8pm, we left the hospital.  Carolyn helped us take our things to the car.  She had been such a help the entire week.  She helped us by taking care of Rocco and seeing that he got to/from school and also visited us each afternoon.  His birthday was on Thursday of that week when we were still in the hospital.  She made sure he had a school birthday party with refreshments.  She's such a jewel!

 The four of us (Jason, me, Rocco, and Maverick) headed home as a new family of four.  We were so thankful to be going home!  

Even Maverick seemed to have a smile about leaving the hospital.  

The one thing that really stays in my mind about the hospital experience was how loving and caring Jason was toward me.  He was there by my side all week.  Not only was he there for me, but he tended to our newborn baby and made Rocco feel loved, too.

 He kept most visitors at bay so that I could rest.  He was being everything to everyone, and I know it had to tire him out.   He went home one night to get some rest and my mom stayed with me.  I guess I felt more loved by him that week than ever before.  I saw how much he loved me by how he gently cared for me- feeding me, bathing me, helping me walk to the bathroom, getting anything I needed, asking how I was doing, holding me hand when I was scared.  When that week was over I was exhausted, but I did not doubt one bit how much Jason cared for me.  And I did not doubt one bit that it was God who had brought us through one tough, yet miraculous week.  

Maverick's Birth

On March 26, 2012 our second son would enter the world.  Rocco was our first miracle, and he came to us through an adoption that we completed far on the other side of the world in Vietnam.  Through the gift of Rocco I became a mom in 2006.  Maverick was indeed our second miracle coming to us as God opened up my barren womb after 14 years of marriage.  Doctors had given us less than 5% chance of getting pregnant, and fertility treatments in the past proved useless.  All I can say is that God opened my womb in His timing, and last July I got pregnant.  On March 26th, I would  experience giving birth for the first time, and I admit even though I was excited I was very nervous. 

On the morning of March 26th, Jason and I headed to the hospital around 5am.  Rocco was still asleep and Carolyn, his nana, had spent the night with us so that she could take him to school that morning.  He was in kindergarten at the time his brother was born.  He was just 3 days shy of being six years old.  

When we got to the hospital they began to prep me for the scheduled C-section.  I was 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant.  Because of some female surgery I had last April, the doctor thought it was safest if I didn't deliver vaginally.  There was a chance my uterus could rupture/tear because of the past myomectomy.  

As they hooked me up to monitors and took some blood that morning, I began to get even more nervous.  My C-section was to take place at 7:30am and by 7am I was literally shaking.

 I wanted to meet our little boy, but the unknown scared me.  What would it feel like?  I was facing a surgery where I would be wide awake.  My nerves were on edge; my parents were in the room with Jason and me but they left to go in the waiting room.  Jason stayed with me and within minutes the nurses were rolling me on a bed to the delivery room.

I had to sit on the edge of the bed in the cold operating room as the anesthesiologist prepared to give me a spinal. This would numb me so that I wouldn't feel any pain during the delivery...just pressure.   I was a nervous wreck, and I could not relax as much as I tried.  It took her 3 times before the spinal worked, and thankfully I began to get numb starting at my toes and working up to my waist.  It was show time, and the doctor came in.  Jason was also allowed to enter; he was all suited up in protective scrubs.  

A nurse named Lanni ("Lonnie") talked me through the entire delivery.  She told me how well I was doing.  I was so nervous that I just took deep breaths.  Jason was there at my head, and a blue curtain was at my chest so that I wouldn't see all the details of them opening me up.  In a few short moments, I felt Dr. Dean pulling the baby out, but it didn't hurt.  Within minutes the doctor was talking about how big of a baby he was.  And then I heard the most wonderful sound.  Thank you Jesus for that beautiful cry!  Jason and I both just smiled with indescribably joy.  Maverick cried and cried.  I thought I would cry, but surprisingly I didn't.  I was just so thankful to hear that cry.  Jason kissed me; we were two happy parents!

Jason soon told me that our boy was 9 pounds 6 ounces.  I was a tad bit groggy, but still fully awake.  I couldn't believe it.  I told him to tell me how much he weighed again later when I could completely take it in. I was in disbelief.  Nine pounds 6 ounces?  Twenty-one inches long?  Even the doctor commented on how big of a boy he was as he was delivering him.  

It took a while for them to sew me / glue me back up, but eventually I was back in the same room that I had been early that morning.  It was called the recovery room.  I didn't realize what was about to take place, and  if I had I would not have been able to comprehend it.  I assumed all was well and that I would be in a regular hospital room within the hour with our new baby and be greeting family members with our newest addition.  Thankfully I was able to hold little Maverick for a while for very shortly my health would spiral downward and many doctors and nurses would be surrounding me trying to save my life.  But for this short moment I was oblivious of what was to come.  I was just taking in this miracle that I had waited 14 years for.  

The Finish Line

Yes. I can almost see it. Today I was 39 weeks, and oh how thankful I am to have made it this far. Although I saw my share of triage (3 trips) all alarms were false and my water never broke. It looks like I will have that planned C-section after all. Before my pregnancy ends I wanted to blog about a few more things. It looks like I'll be delivering this baby this week.

Things I am thankful for:
1) My blood pressure was always where it needed it be. It stayed around 117/74. It was never high.
2) My heart was healthy enough to endure the pregnancy and all the added stress it had to go through to carry a child.
3) I have no stretch marks!
4) All ultrasounds and blood work came back with healthy reports.
5) I really didn't have back pain with this pregnancy. Every now and then I'd get a catch in my back or need to use a massager, but for the most part I had a great back!

Things I will miss:
1) Rocco feeling of my belly and saying, "Whoa! I felt him kick!"
2) Feeling the kick, almost like a fish flopping around, and seeing the baby's heel, knee, foot, bottom, hand, or whatever that was poking around through my skin.
3) People telling me, "Oh, you're so beautiful," even when I felt like crap.
4) Chewy chocolate Chips Ahoy never tasted so good with a glasss of milk!

Things I won't miss:
1) Heartburn.
2) Nauseous feeling / throwing up after big meals or even in the morning with no meal on my stomach.
3) Low pelvic pain when I get up after lying down or changing from left/right side in the bed.
4) Not being able to sleep...

But then again I've heard parents with a newborn say, "Sleep? What's that?"

Here's one last picture of me pregnant. This was taken at my last doctor's visit. I was 38 weeks and 4 days along.

Last September - When Jason Told the Church our News